A church with REAL candles. October 30, 2012

Walked into Valcarce which is a huge truck stop. Nothing "atmospheric" about this place...so I thought. I took a stroll down a little path and walked just a bit, since the last thing you want to do at rest time is walk. As I turned around I saw a run down looking building with a small cross on top. I almost missed it. It was a tiny little church with real, true candles lit by wooden match sticks!!! I lit a candle for all of you.

What a find...the kingdom of heaven us like a mustard seed or a dash of yeast. Both images are hidden, they need to be looked for and can easily be missed. But when found or unearthed everything changes; our attitude; our focus; our mind; our heart. May the candle I lit dispel all the far messes that haunt you....may the light who is Christ lead you to look in small,
unassuming places for his kingdom. When found something ignites in our hearts transfiguring our beings so that we become like the candle : the light of God for another human being... a wayward pilgrim to find their own path to the Light. And it keeps growing and growing like a tiny mustard seed or some yeast in the dough. This KINGDOM is what Jesus keeps referring to in the gospel, a reality he came to ignite within our hearts. Yes, it is WITHIN your very heart.
Try making some real bread with real yeast. Kneed the dough as God knees you spirit and leave it alone for the warmth to take hold. Leave for a time and return to see how it has grown. An earthy image that speaks the kingdom. It grows in hidden and unseen ways. I lit a real, true candle for YOU that you rediscover the kingdom in your own life.. In your own heart. Buen camino. Padre

A Woman Bent Over. October 29, 2012. Cacabelos Spain

The gospel today told the story of a woman who for 18 years could not walk with her back in a straight position, but was bent over. I can't even begin to imagine since I have been walking with bent back for only 4 weeks with a 34 pound backpack strapped to my back.

This woman needed Jesus and his healing spirit. In healing her the physical ailment of a bent back, Jesus healed her bent spirit. She walked away spiritually and emotionally a woman of strength and determination. She could walk with her head held high and her dignity soaring to new heights.

But Jesus healed on a sabbath, against the religious law at the time. Why should she have to wait until after the sabbath when they took care of their animals on the sabbath? That woman's back and her spirit were no longer stooped but the leaders of her religion were determined to control when God could heal and free her. Their minds were bent and stooped in ignorance of the true nature of the law.

We continue to have bent minds when we use our religion and its practices and guidelines as a way to control people. God will always be beyond our need to control him with the external manifestations of religious observance and tradition.

On this camino I have fallen in love with people who don't quite fit in with all that is expected of their particular religion. Our Church... Out Catholic leaders must be willing to speak our Faith in ways that our young are able to respond to. While doctrines are beautiful and essential , they are meant to lead us to Christ and to engage us in a relationship with him. That relationship with the community of the Trinity seems to be missing in so many ways. Our Church is much like the bent over woman in the gospel: we are bent over, weighted down by old formulations, tired ways of living in community if there is any sense of community at all, the governance of our church almost totally made up of celibate men and the voice of the laity barely audible.

Someone sad something at lunch today that truly hit home and made sense; we live in a world where it is impossible to hide or to not be transparent. Everything we say or do is instantaneously made known through Internet technology. The gospel needs to be preached using all means of technology and we need our best and brightest to be preaching the Word at Mass. The stooped spirit of our church can be healed but we need reform while being faithful to our essential teachings and doctrines.

I dream of the next Ecumenical Council comprised of the greatest thinkers of the church: men and women; laity, religious, and ordained; theologians of other religions; all gathered around the Bishop of Rome, our Pope, and the Patriarchs of the Eastern Church, connected the community of all believers with Apostolic tradition. BUT the faith of the apostles and the laity must come together and be shared. We must listen to each other and allow the Spirit to lead us as we respect and honor those whose responsibility it is to maintain the unity of the church around the faith given to us by Christ. Buy the authority of our leaders MUST be rooted in service, humility, and the desire to "wash feet."

As I continue to walk this camino with stooped back I will pray with that unnamed woman in the gospel that we will have the courage ad a church to let go of what makes us walk with our gaze to the ground. We need to look at each human being, eye to eye, being drawn into their story with straightened backs and upright spirits. Buen camino. Padrd

Molinaseca Spain. October 28, 2012

The walk today was long and spectacular. Journeyed with new pilgrims who were a delight to be with. Stopped at Cruz de Ferro where I let go of the three rocks of burden.

This was one of the most emotional times for me for a variety of reasons. In today's gospel, Bartimeous of his blindness. He "throws off his cloak" and immediately goes to Jesus. This gesture of "throwing off the old" means his whole is changing. He needs to let go not so much of his external blindness but the inner blindness that is much more serious...and we all struggle with inner blindness when we refuse "to see" our God through the eyes of Christ, a God who created us to share in the transformation of the world; " to see" his presence in all people; "to see" the face of God freeing us from our sins being transformed by his mercy; "to see" as God sees each one of us, as his beloved son or daughter.

Letting go of the stones of burden was my hope for you... for us...to let go of the burden...to "rise up" to a new way of living. We need to throw off the inner cloak that blinds us in so many ways. I needed to weep tears of letting of of things I need to let go of...things that have blinded me on my own journey. As I told one of my companions today, I am called to be a priest for God's people, helping others "throw off their cloaks" a vocation that his beautiful , powerful, fulfilling and yet lonely.
I hope you felt a bit lighter today. What "cloak" do you need to let go of,along your life less burdensome? Buen camino. Padre

Rabanal Spain. October 27, 2012 To Be Unburdened

Walked into Rabanal Spain and encountered a small table with small rocks spread over the tabletop. Each rich had something painted on it, like a cross or "buen camino." A few towns down the way is a shrine with a large, tall column, topped by a simple cross. It is tradition to bring a small rock, read or say a prayer, and place the rock on a growing pile of other rocks. A beautiful tradition of letting go of burdens, symbolized by the rock.

I have three "beautiful " rocks in front of me, which you can see by the enclosed photo. A friend actually gave me a small rock to place at the shrine of the cross, but I lost the rock in the backpack shuffle. So, one of the rocks is for him and his wonderful family, the second is for you, whoever is reading this, the third...well, I don't know who the third is for; I just happened to pick up three.

We all face burdens in life: "come to me all you who are burdened..." words of Jesus to each one of us. Burdens come in many shapes and sizes: loneliness, bitterness, emptiness, fear, medical problems, consistently unmet needs and the list goes on.
Each rich is a symbol of each burden we carry in hearts that can seem to weigh what a scale could never register. Christ carries EVERY burden of ours in his cross. But we forget what follows and completes the cross: Resurrection...freedom. The Spirit fills us and lifts our heavy hearts out of the burden, perhaps for a moment. Perhaps forever...
But we must keep walking forward on the path chosen for us by God. In moving forward and accepting what can't be changed and doing what we can to change those realities that can be changed , the burdens are lightened if not extinguished.
My prayer is for each one of your hearts to be lightened , unburdened, only to be filled with Joy. Buen camino

Padre

Images of St Teresa of Avila in Astorga

The most beautiful aspect of every image of St Teresa is the image of the "dove" ....the Holy Spirit inspiring her teaching on prayer. The same Spirit Who inspired St Teresa inspires each one of us.

St Teresa of Avila...Pray For Us

October 26, 2012

Sitting in a small church in Astorga after being kicked out of that beautiful cathedral, this time by a parishioner who has the keys to the kingdom. In my prayer surfaced a profound insight for me: the focus of this camino has not been the physical journey but this very blog, which is yet another touch of irony. I never thought that I would be blogging, EVER, in my entire life. I didn't even know what a blog was just a few months ago.
Yet I am drawn to this blog to give those who read it insight, encouragement , comfort, challenge and even culture. This is my way of being connected on a lonesome journey of faith. The community on the camino is always changing as some stay behind and new people enter one's path. At the end, few of us will ever see each other again, and yet, we will always be a part of each others' lives because of the experience of the camino. We will live in each of the memories that will surface as our journey continues when we return home.
Right now, in the middle of a small village in Spain, my anchor is my community in Chicago. There is much comfort in that. Buen camino. Padre

PS: pray I don't get kicked out of a church again. It is a bit disconcerting.

October 26, 2012. Astorga Spain

My walk yesterday went nearly 19 miles through beautiful terrain with signs of autumn. It is ironic that all the bright colors of the leaves are all there underneath the surface..."under" the ordinary green. The colors surface when the sunlight changes angles in early fall and is no longer as direct and powerful. For just a brief time, nature is ablaze in multiple colors.
But in the spiritual life, the direct rays of God's Light allow our "true colors" to surface and often those colors aren't bright and beautiful but dark and lifeless. Yes, facing our true colors, allowing them to surface, is both joyful and painful. We are all a "mixture" of colors. But it is our relationship with God and his Love that transforms the lifeless colors into bright and beautiful ones.
Prayer illumines the human heart with the direct rays of the SON, who only wants to share with each and EVERY human being a spark of his divinity so that we are a ablaze in magnificent colors. What a glorious autumn this is. I miss the beautiful colors of the people of St Teresa of Avila. Buen camino. Padre

October 23, 2012. Birthday in Leon

I just returned from an amazing birthday celebration outside a small cafe near the great cathedral. About fifteen of my camino friends planned this, complete with a piece of birthday cake with two candles lit: a candle in the shape of a "five" and another in the shape of a "six"; hence, fifty six years old !!!! I even got some gifts.
This is an amazing group of people from a variety of countries and cultures. And I love them for the care they have given me, I being the elder of the group.
This journey is an amazing one because of the people and their very large hearts.
I sat on the cathedral being enveloped by history, architecture and phenomenal stained-glass windows. When listening to the story of the cathedral through a hand-held audio component, I was deeply moved by passion and faith that guided the process of construction in the 13th century and the massive renovations centuries later. But was one sentence that captured the purpose and mission of this grand cathedral: "it is only when the cathedral is filled with people worshipping at the Eucharist that the true beauty of the space comes alive." This is a loose translation but comes very close to the exact wording.
People wonder at why the external stained glass or extensive architecture or the expense involved in such a building of worship? Why spend all this money when it could go to feeding the poor? My hope is that the building can transform those who enter through prayer and worship into people who want to live out Matthew 25 more concretely. Thomas Merton had a moment of deep conversion when sitting in a beautiful church. His witness alone makes it all worth it.
There is a difference between beauty and ostentatious, overly extravagant ornamentation. The cathedral I sit in is simple and beautiful: beautifully simple or simply beautiful.
But the true beauty is found in the people worshipping at the Eucharist. A beautiful cathedral is only a museum without people worshipping TODAY, in the present. The purpose of all beautiful art and architecture is to transform the human soul into rich "soil" for God's Love to take root. Buen camino. Padre

October 24, 2012

I can't remember the town I just arrived in, which is not a real good sign. What a difference a day makes. Yesterday I basked in the cultural glow and beauty of the big city Leon and now I sit outside a lonely bar drinking cafe con leche, muy caliente.
Life is filled with so many ups and downs. One of the pilgrims remarked that the moods change rapidly on the camino...as they do in everyday, ordinary life. Accepting this reality is a solid coping strategy that encourages one when times seem down or empty.

It is when times are down that God enters and fills the void. He gives us all the Grace to keep moving forward and stop looking for endless excitement or ways to numb the pain. I, myself, have used television, food and alcohol to escape the void. It NEVER works but only makes the void larger.
I accept this difficult moment and simply observe the elderly cabballeros playing there card game, enjoying the present moment. Underneath this quiet village is life...life that can be seen and lived by simply letting life inside and stop thinking about tomorrow or how I can escape.
One way of connecting with life is to know the name of the town I am in right now. I must know the name and so I ask the young woman behind the bar who writes down the name on a sheet of paper. I WANT the correct spelling for some reason. And so am sitting in a cafe in a small town west of Leon called: Villarreal de Mazarife. I no longer feel so low, but actually feel more connected, as a gentleman gently nudges me, smiles from coast to coast and says, "Buen Camino."
I leave for my "Refugio" or "albergue" feeling uplifted and joyful. How quickly the whisper of God's Presence changes everything. To all of you: buen camino. Padre

Leon at Last. October 22, 2012

Just arrived in this magnificent city, nearly two thirds of the journey behind me. The last third from Leon to Santiago is considered to be the best part of this long journey.
I am amazed that I have been living out of this backpack for well over four weeks; all my possessions, everything I need, except a roof over my head, is in that backpack. The heaviest bag inside is the one containing all the meds I take, which is getting lighter by the day! We can get by with so much less. I tend to fill my life up with more and more things, perhaps as a way to fill the emptiness or void. Or maybe it is about feeling more secure on the inside when there is so much on the outside. Like the man in today's gospel who kept building more barns that would contain more and more seed, which made him feel secure about his future. But focusing on securing our future through more possessions and investments takes us away from our true source of security: our relationship with Christ, the only Treasure that fills us to the brim and beyond. We are all very "rich" with a treasure beyond price. We seem to be seduced into selling off that "treasure" for treasure that is superficial and will never fill the void.

Yesterday after getting kicked out of that church I wandered around the village finding nothing and no one. I went back to the pension feeling the lowest I have felt since beginning this journey of faith into deeper waters. And then I received a call from a friend and two messages from the blog and my spirits were lifted and renewed. We each have the power to change another person's spirit just with a simple message of care. I want to be a "messenger of joy" to those I meet. One of the pilgrim's gave me one of those rubber wrist band that says "messenger of joy" in French. I thought maybe we could create a similar wrist band for our parish with that same phrase in English, Spanish, and French...the three languages of our parish. We are all called to be witnesses of gospel joy of the beautiful Treasure within: the God of love and of JOY. The world needs gospel joy. Buen camino. I miss you. Padre

Church in Mansilla de Los Mulas. Oct. 21, 2012

I had a beautiful walk in solitude. On the gospel, James and his brother ask Jesus if they can sit one at his right the other at his left in the Kingdom. These are places of prestige and honor.
Jesus then asks if they will to drink of the cup that he will drink from. They rush to say "yes." Jesus is referring to the cup of suffering. James and john didn't have a clue.

This Is the St James of the Camino..."Santiago" in Spanish. Ironically, James was the FIRST of the Apostles, it is believed, to have given his life, "drinking from the cup" , for the gospel by being decapitated.

It is believed he brought the gospel to Iberia, Spain, only to return to be martyred. Legend tells us that disciples of James brought his body back to Spain and buried him in the country where he brought the gospel. Somehow, they got his body over ocean waters in a marble sarcophagus.
No one knew where he was buried until a shepherd saw a field with stars blazing overhead in the dark night. The "field of stars" in Spanish is translated, "compostela." Hence, the Camino Santiago de Compostela.
There are so many legends regarding the why's and how's of this ancient pilgrimage. What is important is the faith that draws the pilgrim into a deeper relationship with Christ.
Believe it or not I was just chased out of the church in which I am writing this reflection. So much for the Year of Faith. At least he said , "buen camino."

October 20, 2012. Burgos renero Spain

Had a very long walk today: almost 18 miles. I have now passed the mid point and plan to be in Leon on Monday. Today was the first day I walked alone without any pilgrims. It was a very solitary day filled with prayer and reflection.
When you have hour after hour of silence, so many thoughts begin to surface. I started to be filled with fear: am I going the right route?(I tend to get lost) why am I doing this? Will Iake it? These thoughts leading to the questions are grounded in fear, an emotion that cripples the spirit, compelling one to lose trust and hope. These are the demons that lurk within always looking to trip us up along our chosen path. I truly felt the struggle of Jacob in Genesis and Christ in the desert of temptation. But the struggle with our inner demons always leads to the angels entering the struggle, banishing those demons renewing our spirits. But we must let the angels I'm by letting go of the grip of fear. The angels ministered to me in my fear and lack of trust.
Each of you is struggling with something. Let the angels in...see what happens and be surprised and encouraged.
I learned an important word on the camino: ANIMO! A young man from Madrid kept saying that word to me and I really didn't understand what meant. It means to encourage someone...to empower them. That us exactly what the messengers we call "angels" do: encourage on the way.

Good news: just spoke with fr Barry. He is doing well and loves you. Things are going well. Even better: he will stay on when I return and continue to help out with the Masses. I know that so many of you have expressed your gratitude to him for his ministry. I want to thank him for stepping up to the plate and leading our community as administrator.
Buen camino. Padre

The Rain in Spain...continues. Oct. 18, 2012

Difficult day due to weather: cool, damp and raining on a fairly consistent basis. Today is the Feast of St. Luke the Evangelist and writer of the gospel. In the gospel for the Feast, Jesus sends the disciples in pairs. Why two disciples? There is the double commandment of Jesus: love of God and love of neighbor. He sends each of us out to witness to BOTH commands of loving God AND neighbor. You can't have one without the other. Love of God is a given but we must also love neighbor and our neighbor is Everyone. This "pair" of loves go hand on hand. We are always sent into the world to witness to both love of God and neighbor.
Luke's gospel gives us the beautiful parables of the Good Samaritan and Prodigal Son, as well as the Christmas story of Christ's birth. In this gospel Jesus is frequently in moments of deep personal prayer. And eating seems to be a focus throughout Luke. Perhaps we can "eat" our way through Luke , "chewing" on the words and absorbing the message.
These days I am feasting on "bocadillos" or little sandwiches and red licorice. There is a candy store in every village and I have discovered them all. I need to think out the protein situation a bit more carefully.
I continue to pray for you at daily mass. Take care. Buen camino. Padre

The Rain in Spain. Oct. 17, 2012

Wind, cold, rain, damp. Nature was very upset today, this being the worst weather so far. I am sitting in an ancient church in Fromista Spain listening to the rain pound on the massive vaulted roof.
The one thing the pilgrim does the most is think: thoughts flood awareness surfacing many realities of the past, both pleasant and unpleasant.
My mom came into my consciousness with many fond memories that were accompanied by tears. My grandfather from Sicily used to say, "Don't think too much it will cause pain." The good memories are always followed by the memories buried, seemingly better forgotten. But we all know that these past "forgotten" memories need to surface so that the "Light" can shine on them. That is the way of life and of God: we need to be free by that which holds us back, limits us, controls us. My thinking is surfacing the ways I have lived life on the surface, focusing on what lies outside, not wanting to look within...deeply within. "Come out into the deep waters" Jesus urges us. A call to leave the superficial and"safe" pathways that lead no where.
Much like the Pharisees in today's gospel being so concerned with following the letter of law and religion which is another way of remaining on the surface. To plunge deep within demands that we confront unpleasant and at times painful thoughts from our past.
Sometimes our souls can be like tombs of lifelessness. But our religious observance looks nice and complete. And we remain in control of our salvation...and the salvation of those around us, so we think. Religion that is beautiful and good and true is religion that wants us to think and believe... To be free.... to go out into deep waters freeing our spirits from inner sepulchers.
Yes I am
thinking much these days and yes sometimes we can think too much. But the difficult and painful memories must be allowed to surface and they can only do so by thinking about them...letting them surface...being released. And not being able to feel the sand on the shore beneath our feet
but limitless water in the depths of God's Love.

Castrojeriz Spain oct. 16, 2012

Arrived in this sleepy village on a bright crisp day. The number of pilgrims seems to be thinning out as the month moves on. I am walking with some great people: laynni and dean from Saskatchewan, madilyn from Seattle and Barry from boca raton Florida.
I'm finally learning the ins and outsof my backpack which weighs at about 30 pounds. I can't lighten the load anymore than I have.
So far I am feeling great but miss the people back home. But my loneliness is transforming into solitude, in which I am experiencing a deeper Presence within, One that usually remains hidden. Loneliness is an painful and alienating feeling, one we all know well. We can be lonely around people or within a relationship which is probably the deepest form of loneliness.
I thank God for this experience of solitude perhaps when I have felt closer to Christ than ever before.
We all need to discover solitude in our busy lives, times when we ad alone resting in God's Presence. ALL loneliness can be a time to open wide the doors of our hearts to a Love that draws us deep into Divine Communion within a Community of three Persons. When this happens loneliness is banished and we at One. Buen camino padre