Pope Benedict Resigns. February 12,2013

I knew something was up when the director of the program interrupted our class with an announcement that something monumental in the Church was taking place. All of us were stunned at the news of the Pope's resignation. I have seen the Pope three times in the last week or so and felt very saddened that he looked exhausted and sounded so weak. As he processed by me during the Mass of the Presentation, he appeared so tired.

When his letter announcing his resignation was read in our class, I was moved by his deeply humble admission that he just didn't have the physical stamina needed to carry the burdens of the Petrine Ministry. It takes a strong and humble leader to do what Benedict did. He has given us all a powerful example of living one's life and commitments with dignity in the face of advanced age and illness.

Just before the camino I read the book, The Pope Who Quit, the true story of the only pope to resign. Six hundred years ago Pope Celestine V was elected pope while being a contemplative monk. He didn't want to accept but did so believing he was following God's will. His papacy lasted just about a month when he abruptly resigned. He was thought to be weak and indecisive ; his resignation was seen at the time as an embarrassment.

Ironically, Pope Benedict went to this very Pope's tomb a couple of years ago to pray to him. He had only kind words to say about this Pope who has been viewed by history in such negative terms. That visit to the tomb was very powerful for me for Benedict spoke with few words; his witness "spoke" volumes.

Like everyone, I am praying for Benedict that he be given what he couldn't have as pope: time to contemplatively pray and write. God knows that he deserves it. I understand he will live in a monastery within the walls of the Vatican but I may be wrong on this. In any event, Benedict lets go of this terrible burden with his head held very high. His papacy will considered a great papacy due to the humble act of letting go. And he did it out of love for Christ and his church.

I admit that I have not felt close to Benedict. His writings, in particular , I find difficult and cerebral. Maybe the translations are simply awkward and fail to capture his warmth. What is clear is that Benedict is s brilliant theologian whose writings will be read and pondered centuries from now. Right now I simply feel sad for him even though I know it us the right thing to do. I can't even begin to think about who will succeed him, a question that just isn't on my mind right now.

I took a long walk and naturally ended up in the empty square in front of St. Peter's. the lights were brightly lit in the Pope's study and office. What must be going through his head? There was something very lonesome about the light shining from his widows is the dark with the rain gently falling.

The Pope officially resigns on feb. 28 at 8 pm. A conclave will follow sometime in March. I'm not sure where I will be at the time of the conclave. I may even be back home. In each one of our lives we have those moments of truth, when God breaks through defenses we have built up over the years to keep us from change and moving forward with a completely new outlook and attitude.

This is one such moment for me...

Buen camino. Padre