Assisi. February 16, 2013

Assisi is one place where heaven and earth meet and kiss. Walking the medieval streets allows one to feel the presence of the Spirit, gently awakening one to the dwelling of God within. The spirit of Francis is almost tangible to the extent that his presence emerges as a quiet friend leading us to Christ. As I gaze on the cross of San damiano, the very cross that led to his conversion with the Christ hanging in crucifixion telling Francis the , "Repair my church." At first, Francis thought he meant the physical building of San damiano and so began the painstaking process of restoring the decaying structure. But God meant something very different and much deeper and much more painful: the renewal of a corrupt and wayward institution comprised of people who lost the vision of the gospel.

Yesterday I sat in a beautiful church, Santa Maria maggiore in Assisi. A small white bird was caught inside the church and was struggling to free itself through a small round window at the top near the ceiling. You could hear his frantic wings fluttering rapidly, trying to get out. And the bird found some opening that I couldn't perceive from my vantage point, and found freedom.

The bird, typically a dove, is a symbol oc the Holy Spirit. And I couldn't help but sense the Spirit trying to move more freely in the breath of the Church. There is an opening that none if us can perceive bug is nonetheless present...hidden.

We now are in a time of prayer, praying that spirit be free to breath in our structures and institutions. We all have our own ideas as to how the Spirit needs to be the given freedom to elect the right pope to make all the changes we know must be made so that our church reflect the gospel. The focus is on that which lies outside our own lives and hearts: the institution and the obvious need for renewal and change. But I sit here before the Presence if Jesus asking how I am preventing the spirit from moving more freely within MY heart. St. Francis didn't "repair" the institution by judging its corrupt leaders. No. He began with himself and allowed the Spirit into a deep crevice of his heart and the flame was ignited that led to his powerful witness.

Perhaps we think we know what is best for the church and the next successor of Peter : he must be another Benedict ; he should continue where john Paul II left off; we need another john XXIII; the church needs a pope with a new name bringing the church in a new direction; the responses are endless and the speculations tiresome. Everyone has an opinion that matches one's vision and understanding of what the church should look like and what needs to be changed.

I pray that whoever is chosen will allow the Holy Spirit to enter one of those crevices in his heart that he be guided in his ministry by the Spirit of Christ and no other.

I want to change myself and not the institution. I have prevented the Holy Spirit from freely moving in my own life. If only I can here that "fluttering " if a trapped Presence wanting freedom, not for Him but for me. I pray that my visit with Francis will give me courage and insight to stop looking outside of myself for change to occur and to allow a conversion of my own heart to deepen.

Repairing Christ's Church begins and ends with each one of us allowing that Spirit within to transform us into LOVE, compelling others to look within their own hearts. There sunk greater power on this earth than the witness of LOVE. Buen camino. Padre